Real Women… or Children?

There’s been a rash of comments lately from readers who say that a lot of women on PoF seem to be interested only in men who have tattoos and a motorcycle… preferably a Harley, if at all possible. And that guys without Harleys or tats should basically get lost.

I can see why a woman would be exclusively interested in a biker guy… if she were a true-blue, for-real biker chick. But most of the women on Plenty of Fish who seem to have a desire for biker dudes aren’t true biker chicks. At most, they might have a tattoo. Or two. But ersatz biker boys and their Harleys really excite these women, and one has to ask, “What’s up with that?”

Every PoF chick's dream guy?

I have a theory about what’s causing this kind of behavior. Women who like Harleys and guys with tats and the whole biker ethic that goes with it (ersatz or not), are women who seem to feel that appearing ‘bad’ somehow makes them tough, or ‘special’ in some way, a cut above their peers.

It’s a perfectly normal human desire to want to be top dog from time to time, but women who behave this way are really just looking for a lifestyle that projects a certain image, and the more fashionable they think the image is, the better. And, of course, the whole game seems to turn upon the atavistic desire some women appear to have for criminals, thugs and other guys who appear to  be, in some inexplicable way, ‘alpha’ males even though they aren’t even remotely ‘alpha’.

The big problem in this kind of behavior is that in order to be considered worthy, a man has to have some purely superficial attributes or specific kinds of material possessions that have nothing to do with his ability to be a good mate. And more to the point, what happens when the wannabe-biker ethos suddenly becomes unfashionable? Will women ditch their biker dude boyfriends (in favor of the latest and fashionably ‘hawt’ guys) because they no longer measure up to the ephemeral, superficial kind of thinking that underpins the whole ‘biker-look’ ethic? Predicating relationships purely on fashion is a lot like predicating relationships purely on looks or some other singular attribute – it’s an exercise doomed to end in failure.

Real women don’t play stupid image games like this, where the flavor of the day trumps all… but children do.


44 Responses to Real Women… or Children?

  1. Lincoln says:

    At one time Charles Manson had about eighteen girlfriends in his “family.” If he is not a loser than I don’t know what one is. Need I say more?

  2. April says:

    btw… i do see the trend. please god, make it stop!

  3. Mike Davis says:

    Being a GoldWing rider, I have to say that you are right on the money. The 5 years that I owned a Harley (when it meant something other than $$$ ) I was the same person, just broken down on the side of the road more. Now everyone who has 25K to blow is Easy Rider, what BS everyone should see South Park the Harley (FAG) episode

  4. Jim says:

    I owned several motorcycles in my youth. Had a pretty bad wreck on my last one. But recovered without any long term effects really. Broken ankle, knee and shoulder.
    Sorry to say this to most of the riders that I know. But a Harley is the year 2000’s version of the 80’s Corvette. It’s what most middle aged men buy, when going thru a midlife crisis. Or soon after a divorce. To feel young, free and try to snag some pussy.

  5. nobody says:

    Whatever is in the media and movies is the “trend” for women…depending how the media portrays “romance”, or how and what women should go for, that is what is the trend and what they expect.

    The following movies/programs are some mostly to blame:

    Dear John
    Oprah/Ellen/Female Talk shows
    Most other romances

    If a woman is seen as being “riding off into the sunset on the back of a harley” in the latest romance movie…then that is what most will look for

  6. mike says:

    I agree about the trends. All of the mid life crisis guys who saw Easy Rider back in the day now have the $$ to buy a $25,000 motorcyle
    and$15,000 worth of tattoos and unless the next trend is hard working guys that just get by, which I doubt I’m out of luck. What really surprises me is that I am 60 and not looking for a young trophy babe but the young guys on POF have it just as tough as I do. Why am I still on there? I suppose it’s part stupidity and I must be a glutton for punishment. Of course at my age options are very limited.

    • Lincoln says:

      It sounds like you’ve got to travel outside the U.S. Me too. Dating is so one dimensional now. Women really choose their partners.Maybe it will change when there is male birth control pills available. I don’t know. On POF, I just put my profile up and wait until I get mail. I rarely send mail unless I see a chick whom I really like, but an answer is slim to none. When I do send mail I don’t hold my breath and don’t invest
      much emotion in it. Every once in a while I
      get a surprise. You’re on POF because it is another option. It still sucks though.

  7. Dave says:

    Okay, time for a rant. If you want to be highly entertained and repulsed at the same time, then you will love this. I’ve been on POF for about four years now with no luck, obviously, but this last date I had from there is the crowning achievement of bad dates. Here goes: She didn’t look too bad in her picture, it was a cleavage shot (go figure) and we got along pretty well after talking on the phone. I finally agreed to drive the120 miles to go see her last weekend. She said since I was driving so far to see her, I was welcome to spend the night. Sounds good so far, right? Well, I get all the way down there and she is standing outside her apartment waving at me. I was horror-stricken. First of all, the apartment she lived in was a hole…..I mean a real dump. It was not an apartment complex, but some old decrepit building that had been converted into tiny apartments in the seedy side of town. She’s wearing a Harley-Davidson T-shirt and shorts. Come to find out, she’d had gastric bypass surgery and had lost a ton of weight, but her legs were still enormous and her leathery brown skin on her legs hung in folds. They were also covered in vericose veins. I was completely repulsed. Within two minutes of being in her “apartment”, she got into a screaming match with her little brat daughter. I nearly left right then and there, but I wanted to be polite, so I sat down and watched TV with them. About 30 minutes later, this fat slob friend of hers came bursting through her front door, bawling that child protective services had taken her kid. Wow…..I was in hell. I told her I was tired and had to go back home. I gave her a quick hug (I really didn’t want to even touch her) and got the hell out of there! What a traumatic experience!

    I haven’t deleted my POF profile, but never again will I write to or respond to someone who is below my dating standards just because I’m desperately lonely. I did update my profile with a few standards that I expect. Hey, if the women on there can state their dating standards, then so can I! I put the following:

    -No motorcycle mamas/biker chicks
    -No tattoos
    -Ladies only, no tomboys
    -Kids either grown and out of the house, or well-behaved

    I bit the bullet and messaged a decent looking woman since then. She responded back that she had six tattoos, intended to get more, and was planning on buying a Harley soon. Un-freaking-believable.

  8. chester says:

    I’ve always known that chics on any online dating site were mostly losers, with maybe some random girls that are legitimate daters. Nope, I’m just about thoroughly convinced that 100% of all females online are jacked up in some way or another.

    I met some girl last weekend for drinks that seemed like a good one. She was single, no kids, 34, fairly attractive, and was a pharmicist ($$$).
    Of course, in the back of my mind I’m thinking there’s gotta be something wrong if a girl is still single at her age… maybe she’s the type that’s one of those neutral a-sexual types that has no intention on being in a relationship with anyone, yet they are on dating sites.

    This girl shows up, not too bad looking, and she actually didn’t leave after having a drink. We talked, and laughed. She wanted to go to another bar. We order food and wine. I was certain I’d see her again, so I paid the $55 tab. Then she wants to walk around outside for a while. Then we went to another bar, and that’s where I kinda started to get a little physically close to her, and I immediately got the vibe that this girl was an a-sexual dead fish. There was no sexual energy at all.

    So this girl offers me a ride back to my car…..and when we get to her car….it’s a huge F150 4×4 truck. LOL. This chick was odd. She says nothing as I get out of her truck. No “call me”, or “I’ll get the next meal”, or “text me”.

    I had invented a saying years ago: “If you don’t meet a decent girl in high school or college, then it will be hell trying to thereafter”. Good girls get hit on so often in their young age, that they eventually say yes to a good guy at an early age. They get married, and they stay married. All of the other females that are left overs that are 23 thru 50, are either gold diggers, psychos that came from bad backgrounds, cheaters, and a-sexual dead fish which are women that have no intention whatsoever on being in any kind of relationship, but they still want to feel like they have some kind of dating life.

    • He-man says:

      Chester, you’re bang on I agree with your posts, you understand the game well. I’m 31 and 25 and up is too old for me, but keep in mind the 40$ rule. Zero is optimum, never ever spend more than 40$ on a date…I don;t agree that women stay married, they don’t , they get hitched young and then divorce their husbands later and then go back on POF! LOL! or some other site, that’s how things work these days. POF is filled with left overs. I was on POF for 4 days and that was enough for me

    • Lincoln says:

      If it’s a first date,I try to keep it very short. I get out before they decide to split.If they want to see me again, they’ll contact me. I have extended the first date in the past,but that seems not to work out.
      I find that females these days don’t like to be bored, and a guy who has a decent job with no tattoos and no bike has no drama in his life. Women are not necessarily looking for danger, they just like excitement.They also like a man who has experience. Me, I stay away from drama, so I guess I am boring. That’s okay because the last thing I need is a bag or problems.

  9. Leon E. Jones Jr. says:


    I agree with your analysis. To take it a step further, if you have something going for yourself women use the word boring as a scape goat or crutch because they are the losers. I have a decent job, no tattoos or earings, a master’s degree and come from a functional family who taught me how to be an independent person. Most women particularly the ones 40 come from to distinct backgrounds, you have the ones that have had many kids from different fathers and they enjoy drama then, there are the ones who haven’t done anything except been a mother and grandmother and they don’t know what being on your own really is. You put these two types of women on plenty of fish, they aren’t willing to change their lifestyles so they end up with men who are constantly filled with drama because they are miserable and misery loves company. These women would have to do some work to get a decent man. That’s why they use plenty of fish and other free dating sites because they have virtual choices because they can hide behind the computer and disguise themselves in order to see that they are a good catch. Also, these women aren’t looking for love, they are looking for attention, that’s why I don’t give them any compliments, put them on a pedestal or treat them like the entitled princesses they think they are. Also, many of them have never ridden on a harley, they never travel, and they never had series relationships if they are constantly surfing the sites for bigger and better deals. Guys do yourselves a favor and develop some standards, I have and my self esteem hasn’t been better. Get an education, treat yourself to a dinner by yourself at a restaurant, educate yourself on the current issues. Lastly, do some sole searching on yourself and find a woman that fits your criteria.

  10. swamp zombie says:

    I’m a guy with lots of tattoos, a motorcycle, really fit, confident, good looking, very different and individualistic, etc… Women don’t want anything to do with me. All the girls here in FL are looking for the college assholes, white trash and drug addicts. The bigger the loser you are, the more chicks you’ll get. It’s ass backwards. I used to live in Chicago, where my individualistic nature and intelligent wit used to score me a lot of dates. I had no problems dating until I moved to this hell hole. The women here are all trash and skanks, most of the ones over 25 have more than 3 kids by different men, smoke, abuse alcohol and/or drugs, don’t take care of themselves, and ALL the single girls in their 30’s or older have major, major issues. There’s a reason they’re on these sites. I’ve found the site makes no difference, I’ve tried them all from POF to OKCupid, Match and eHarmony. They’re all the same, just some are willing to spend lots of money to boost their already over inflated egos. The laundry list that most women demand a man meet make me wanna go homo. Must travel? I hate traveling. Must love clubbing and dancing? I thought only homo’s danced. Funny thing is, I match a lot of the girls on the sites to a tee, but they still won’t talk to me. They all say they want a nice, respectable man who works hard for a living, but it’s all a lie… It sickens me that most women won’t even look at a guy who doesn’t have a college degree. I’m a master auto technician, have my own house, two bikes, nice car and I make a really good living, but since I only have a degree in automotive repair, that makes me somewhat less of a man. Once upon a time maybe, cute girls were attracted to the ‘bad boy’ image and wanted a real man–a man’s man who stood for things and had opinions, values and a spine, but that time is long gone. Nowadays it’s the clean cut college frat boy douchebag, the walking doormat, making 6 figures a year that gets the girls. They want nothing more than a guy that can pay their way through life, a guy that they can verbally, physically and emotionally abuse and control.
    So I suppose a lot of it has to do with the places that you live, FL sucks because the women suck. But I imagine not everywhere is like this. Or maybe it is. Maybe you guys are right in saying that American women all blow. That’s it, I’m gettin’ me one of those 18 year old Russian mail order brides. Seems like the next logical step.

    • lincoln says:

      Swamp Zombie,
      I can see where you’re coming from. So. California is really bad dating wise.I’m sure the bad boy look does not always make it with the girls too. I live near the beach and make a decent living. But you’re right. They seem to want their way paid through life. I have eleven more years at my employment and I think I’m going to move out of Ca. after the time is up. I’m not too sure about Russian girls either. They can be pretty greedy too. Fillipino women seem to be the good catch. Maybe you should lie and say you have a bachelor’s degree from a state college. It’s a white lie. No harm. Every once in a while I meet a cool chick,but she’s usually taken or
      unavailable. There are plenty of fatties and uglies to go out with, but sometimes they can even give you an attitude. Yep, it looks like attractive girls want an androgynous male who will let girls walk all over him.

  11. Transister_Radio says:

    The forums on Plenty of Fish are nothing more than a shark / piranha infested polluted tank consisting of some of the biggest losers on that site. It’s one of those forums where if you post something innocent, you will probably have a good number of imbeciles attacking / trolling you. Even the damn moderators are trolls on that site. I pity the poor innocent souls who post on those forums and who do not know what type of people they will be interacting with.

    I was bored this morning and decided to check those forums out, just to see if things have changed and have gotten better.
    They have NOT.

    There was one topic in particular that really stood out in my mind. It was a young college guy who was simply asking why he wasn’t getting any responses and was looking for advice. The poor soul was posting on the forums for the first time.

    He could have gotten lucky and could have gotten the 2% of forum regulars to post in his topic that would have treated him well. Sadly, he got the other 98%. At that point, he started getting attacked by several of the “piranhas”.

    While he was unfairly attacked by SEVERAL people, one woman decided to attack a picture of him where the guy was with his sister and cousin. She responded to that picture by saying this :

    “it comes across that you are seen among your friends as the token gay guy/honorary girl/feminine man who is normally in the background for a group of girls. The guy who is safe to have around because he’s not going to hit on anyone, will walk us home safely when we have had too much to drink ……… the safe guy”.

    So at that point I’m thinking ……
    What the fuck ?!?

    So if the guy walks you home while you are drunk and does not try to physically take advantage of you……. he’s seen as weak and inferior ?!? He’s a feminine man for safely walking home a bunch of drunk girls and not taking advantage of them? Since he’s the “safe guy”, he’s not worthy of dating ?!? This is BULL SHIT.

    This very much relates to the topic : “Real women ….. or children?”

    A REAL woman would know that a guy who will safely walk them back home when they are vulnerable is a good man who is trying to help them. A good man who can be a trust worthy, long-term partner and will treat them well.
    A good man to be in a relationship with.

    A woman who is nothing more than a “child” would lust after a guy who would physically take advantage of them and treat them like shit. These type of “women” would continue to look at these type of guys as “alpha males” who are not the “inferior safe guy”.

    I remember years ago during college when I saw a few scenarios like this from women.

    I remember this one guy who actually walked this poor, drunk girl back to her dorm, took her up stairs, SAFELY put her to bed in her dorm room, and left. He did NOT take advantage of her. He helped her.

    What happens the next day? While the girl herself was very appreciative of the guy’s behavior and actually respected him for it, SEVERAL of the other girls in the dorm saw things differently.
    I remember overhearing one conversation where one of the other girls stated “Hey, that guy didn’t try to take advantage of her last night while she was drunk ….. he must be gay !!”. She then decided to verbally tear him apart for several minutes.

    I face palmed myself pretty hard once I heard her remarks (she was verbally tearing him apart very badly. She was NOT joking around, she was verbally bashing him).
    I then double faced palmed myself upon hearing other girls actually agreeing with her and adding their own rude comments about the guy.
    In reality, the guy wasn’t gay, he was just a guy who was trying to help a girl out and did NOT want to take advantage of her because it would be the wrong thing to do. Sadly, most of these girls saw things differently.

    My personal advice to all guys out there is : Continue to do the right thing.
    Even if some IDIOT sees you as being some inferior “safe guy”….. fuck that person. Continue to do the right thing. If some idiot girl thinks you are not worthy of being with her and goes after some “bad boy” instead, then to hell with them.

    Continue to do what is morally right.
    Don’t try to be some idiot that hurts others.
    Do the right thing and if someone has a problem with your actions, then screw them.

    Finally, I find it sad that the woman on the POF forums would post :
    “it comes across that you are seen among your friends as the token gay guy/honorary girl/feminine man who is normally in the background for a group of girls.The guy who is safe to have around because he’s not going to hit on anyone, will walk us home safely when we have had too much to drink ……… the safe guy”.

    How dare she post something as irresponsible and moronic as this. This woman is not a real woman….. only a child.

  12. Andrew S. says:

    I have been on pof quite a while now. I’ve gotten a lot of interest, but since I live in a small midwestern town most of the interest is nothing to brag about.

    If I lived in a city, or a big town not located in the midwest or the south, I think pof would be ok, but it certainly is not a place you are going to find a lot of decent women, no matter where you live.

  13. Andrew S. says:

    75% to 80% of the women on pof are just there because they like the attention. They love getting messages, and like to fake interest so they can get more messages from you. Then you have the 25% who are the slightly above average/average/ugly women who are delusional about the kind of man they can attract beyond a one night stand.

    Finally, you have a very small percentage of women who are attractive and looking to date. Yes, they are looking to date the guy with the perfect looks and some money. These women don’t go on many dates.

    • JDP says:

      And to add how funny it is. Even the hot women, that want the perfect 10, cuz they think they are. Don’t you find it curious, that they are online on a late friday or saturday night, or early saturday or sunday morning.
      Instead of out on a date or laying in bed, next to Mr. 10? 90% of the women out there, want the same exact thing in a guy. So if you are over 6′, athletic, under 40, educated and make a great incime. And hopefully have no kids (that equals baggage to women) You can play them ALL and take your pick!
      So even if Ms. Perfect (in HER mind) thinks she found Mr. 10? He will definately better deal her as well. And why would he, you may ask? Because HE is in demand too, not just HER and HER pussy!
      Thats why you see so many womens profiles saying, “are there any good men?” Or, “tired of all the players, etc” They are dating up, because they are shallow, low self esteem and easy lays. But the “dating up, with Mr. perfect.” Rarely lasts beyond a weekend of using her, like a nickle whore. And I for one, think they deserve every thing that they get played for.

      • HadEnoughToo says:

        This post here explains my theory on what I also always thought happened to women who overestimated their value due to the gender disparity flooding their mailbox. After being flucked and checked a few times, they obviously do themselves a disservice by foolishly assuming a 10 won’t BBD her someday thus screening out her equals.

        Don’t waste too much time dating online. It works best in the real world (though that is getting worse recently in some of the same ways that these POFSucks complaints are about POF). POF is just another tool to date women. It’s basically a lottery with stupid rules and just as much odds of winning for most as people do in general at beating the house in Vegas.

      • HadEnoughToo says:

        The next time I see “are there any good men?” or “tired of all the players,” for giggles and grins I think I should just send one of those snobs, “the reason there aren’t any good men in your fantasy world where you marry the 10…or…the reason your tired of all the players is because you’re an idiot for trying to date up. Once you accept you aren’t quite as special or hot as you think you are (as evidenced by your stupid ‘game players’ comment, which only says more bad about you then them), once you get over yourself and get realistic, if you weren’t such a vacant shallow cunt you could get into decent LTR. Moron. Wannabe princess.”

        Yes, just one time I’ve gotta send something like that.

        Great point JDP when you say, “Thats why you see so many womens profiles saying, “are there any good men?” Or, “tired of all the players, etc” They are dating up, because they are shallow, low self esteem and easy lays. But the “dating up, with Mr. perfect.” Rarely lasts beyond a weekend of using her, like a nickle whore. And I for one, think they deserve every thing that they get played for.”

  14. Mike says:

    I’ve lived in cities and small towns, it doesn’t really matter POF sux

  15. swamp zombie says:

    Guys, don’t let POF suck the life outta you. Seriously, you should never take anything any woman on POF says to you personally. None of these women would have a hair on their ass to ever be that rude to someone in real life. It’s easy to lie, bitch and judge from behind the computer screen. AT MOST, POF should be used as a supplement to your normal dating. I realize that not everyone meets hot girls all the time, but it will happen. It’s all about being in the right place at the right time. If you’re shy, try working your game on less than perfect girls. Girls can smell a guy lacking confidence from a mile away, and I believe it’s a total turn off to them. Once you’re comfortable talking to women, you will be successful, but forget the internet bullcrap. There has seriously been links to depression in men because of the way they are treated by women online. Look it up. No one deserves to feel this way. Believe it or not, not all women are evil. I’ve had some wonderful girlfriends that I’ve loved dearly. They are few and far between, but if you give up or have a negative attitude, they can sense your despair. Guys, just hang in there, forget the internet and start doin’ it the old fashioned way.

    • rocket says:

      swamp zombie said:

      “There has seriously been links to depression in men because of the way they are treated by women online. Look it up.”

      I took his advice and found a good article on the subject called “Can Online Dating Make You Depressed?” on the Psychology Today website. You can find it easily via Google.

      I see a lot of pain and frustration being expressed on this site and I know the territory all too well. The entire dating scene seems very brutal now and the online experience just seems to amplify the worst aspects of that. I wish I had some answers but I don’t.

      Good luck, everyone. I hope we all find our way out of this maze.

      • Dave says:

        I have no problem believing there are links to depression in men from online dating. I’m not a bad looking guy and all of my female friends (of course all married or otherwise taken) have told me I’m the nicest guy they’ve ever known, but my luck with online dating has been horrendous. I’ve been on several dating sites since 2008, including POF, eHarmony, Zoosk, and OkCupid. I got zero responses from the women who I actually found attractive and had desirable profiles. I then lowered my standards and started messaging women I found not bad, ones that I could possibly see myself with. This time I got very few responses, all of them either “I’m already talking to someone” or stating I lived too far away or was simply “not what I’m looking for”. Then desperation set in and I started messaging women who I didn’t necessarily find attractive, but that weren’t absolutely butt-ugly and covered in tats. Really not my type, but I figured they would be the types to feel lucky to have someone like me respond to them. Still….no responses. The ones I did actually meet in person were either still hung up on their ex’s or were total slobs with juvenile delinquent kids. It’s amazing that a normal guy like me who works hard, keeps a nice, clean home, and is generally considered a very good guy couldn’t get a date if I were in a women’s prison with a fistful of weekend passes. It’s depressing, especially when I have female friends who I would kill to go out with who have boyfriends that either beat the hell out of them and treat them like shit or ignore them completely in favor of boozing it up with their buddies.

  16. Leon Jones says:

    swamp zombie, this is Leon, I read that study regarding depression in men. Dating sites cause a lot of self esteem issues in men because women are constantly given a pass for the behaviors in society. Look at the leaders who run our country from the president through judges and local governments. Look at TV and colleges on how they have put up this illusional front of making women in charge. What a do with a woman on plenty of fish and a dating site is let them know about my standards on the phone for at least a month. I talk about issues such as where they rank a man in a relationship, politics, dating, money, sexual styles, life styles, intended pregrancies, unintended pregnancies, women’s rights, pets, family, friends, and children. Also, I see what kind of situation that they such as a break up with a passed boyfriend or ex-husband; they result is the same child like behavior of the negative adjectives such as you have anger problems, your selfish, you want me 24-7. I stop them in their tracks and link something that they have told me to the present conversation, they get upset and the conversation becomes me being the adult and her behaving childlike. When a female can’t defend her position, even when you have the facts on her, she is always trying to blame the guy. Remember, women on these dating site may not get approached in the real world because they hide behind the computer screen; they know they’re desperate guys out there. Also, these women are trying to date up and ends up making them pump and dump material because the hottest guy is trying to date up as well. To eliminate all of this nonsense and constant frustration, we need to be more confident in ourselves and let a woman know that we don’t need them after all, they have nothing to offer us but their bodies anyway. That’s why I don’t pay for their dinner, I don’t pick them up, and I don’t constantly compliment them. I look at their behavior and treat them like they’re in the courtroom and I ask them specific questions and sometimes I write their answers down and look at their text messages as well so the next time something comes out of their mouth, I have evidence to incriminate them.

    • JDP says:

      Great approach Leon. All women online, are liars and players. And they all blame men and have serious self esteem, trust, commitment, etc, issues.
      Great idea to write what they say down. As they will surly forget what lie they told you already. As they get caught and can’t keep up their facade. They will shut you down, call you angry, controlling, manipulating, etc.
      As pratical, common sense, thinking beings. We need to definately date SMARTER. When dealing with the “new, improved, independent and strong, women?”

  17. saltbird says:

    I just read that article, and it is dead on correct. Stay off all dating sites at all cost!!! They are an incomprehensible waste of time and energy for any quality guy.

  18. Keef says:

    Leon Jones, U NAILED IT! I do some of the same things.

    Turn it around on them, Test them instead.

    Beat em’ at their own game.

    • JDP says:

      OMG! I just read one of the funniest profiles yet. A 48yr old, uneducate and unemployed, cougar wannabe. 5′ 5″ and well over 200lbs. And she also lives with her brother, because she is BROKE.
      Yet wants guys 30-50yrs old for a LONG TERM relationship? And requires THEM to be intelligent and ambitious, employed, in shape, own place, etc?
      Her user name is, Theresonlyonewaytorock. You guys have got to read this COWS demands!

  19. JDP says:

    DAMN! I had used my fake profile to contact that COW and give her the REAL truth.
    And NOW she says, she has a Bachelors? And completely blanked out, all her stupid demands. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one to do it.
    I LOVE contacting these demanding, entitled, stupid bitches. And giving them both barrels, of how unrealistic and what stupid skank whores they are!

  20. JDP says:

    I love it! This skank wrote a book of demands. And also wrote how she was laid off at Chase bank and living with her brother. For the last 4 months, her profile said “some college.”
    But NOW, after I called her on her unequal demands. She is claiming employment and 2 Bachelors degrees? Gee, it must’ve slipped her mind for the last 4 months.

    I love how these skanks are all “students” at 35 plus years old. Thats because they have had a man/husband working and paying the bills.
    And NOW, after they have spent YEARS being lazy and demanding. Have to get a JOB and work long hours, for shit wages! They don’t like it and want to be rescued! Sorry Princess, welcome to the REAL world!

  21. JDP says:

    And why do so many stupid bitches. Put their age range ideal, in the profile paragraph. Yet don’t set the e-mail settings for that age range? Thats so they can keep their options OPEN and still get ATTENTION from men of ALL ages.
    And why do those that are seperated. Have e-mail settings, that block married? Hello you stupid COIW, your STILL MARRIED yourself!
    If they are “not single/not looking” and only want, Chat/e-mail, friends or hangout? Why do they require an age range, photo, NON married. And block activity partners as well?
    I don’t care wha a person looks like, their age or if they are married. As a requirment to be my friend, to hangout or to just chat online.
    These stupid online whores, do NOT think things thru AT ALL!

  22. Sam DeRenzis says:

    I find this all to be relatively accurate of the situation in the USA right now and the western world. Women have no respect for anyone even themselves, thus they’ll go sleeping around complaining how all men are evil while turning down nice guys that have serious interest in them. Later they get prego by 2 guys very close together and furthermore complain while suckering good men into pretend dating scenarios where they never get laid and find out later the girls are screwing yet another abandonment father. I would rather die than stay in the USA beyond 2012 and not get laid while in European countries women fuck any guy they feel like and nice guys get laid. I KNOW FOR A FACT I COULD GET LAID IN EUROPE QUICKLY but in the USA you’re never fucked just screwed. Guess what USA BURN HELL CUNTS

    • JDP says:

      Very accurate Sam. 85% of average attractivness women online. Are banging at least 2 other guys, while STILL looking for more. (or free dinner and drinks)
      It’s called, comparison shopping. Keeping the pipes cleaned, till they sucker some dope into a relationship. And then constantly lie and fuck him over, behind his back.
      And here is a little known fact about POF. If a person actually deleted their profile. If you do a user name search, it will say, “this person has deleted their account.”
      But if you do a user name search and nothing comes up? That means they have only hidden it. Because they are secretly doing some better dealing, behind your back! And believe me, no matter WHAT they may tell you. They ALL DO IT!

  23. Lincoln says:

    Dating sucks online and it’s not very good in the real world. The economy has been terrible, but maybe over time people will realize there is more to life than money and collecting things. As of yet, I haven’t seen the change,but this is what the U.S. needs. Offline, it’s best if you have a girl pick you up. She has to know you,otherwise it won’t work. I may look like the type of person who is really successful, but quite often, when women find out that I make a modest living,they usually bail out. I have had this scenario happen several times, and it’s hard on your ego.Boo Hoo, but it’s true. Many women feel they don’t need a man if they don’t make more than they do. They’re waiting for Mr. Perfect, but in the long run they are losing out as well.

  24. joe says:



  25. Mr. X says:

    After 12 months and chatting with about two dozen women (7 of which I dated), it seems all they want is for you to wine and dine them, but when it comes to sex, or even affection, they turn into fish…cold, dead fish! And these women were not even close to being knockouts! I’m taking a break from POF for awhile and concentrating on ME When and if I go back on POF I’m going to raise my standards and for my first date I’ll just take them out for coffee. It’s cheaper than dinner.

  26. surfkat says:

    Don’t forget guys. They also want a REAL and “long term” relationship. With guys their age or MAYBE 1yr older, but 20yrs younger? It’s like they’re looking for the fountain of youth, in a young guys COCK!
    Don’t you love how they spout off about their intelligence, education, etc. And then can’t spell for shit! Or write how they are looking for a “good hearted MEN?” Or how they are a “kind, honest and faithful WOMEN?”
    They can’t even get the proper phrasing, from singular and plural. Or they all spell, “I enjoy QUIET times at home,” as QUITE? They are SO stupid!

  27. Megan says:

    Wow. Interesting reading all the posts here. I’m married now, and guess what? I met my husband on POF over 5 years ago.

    A couple of work colleagues of mine were also using it to date back then, and sadly, they are still using it. It’s like they don’t want to stop. They are addicted to the act of dating and can’t get past that stage. I don’t understand that at all, as I never really dated for any length of time. Usually, I’d go on a first date and either it would be a complete flop and end there, or it would go so well that I found myself with a new boyfriend fairly quickly. None of this juggling several guys or dating casually for months on end for me. Really, I can’t even imagine it.

    Oh, and by the way, when I was dating online, I never went out for a meal with anyone, so I was most definitely not out to scam a free meal. Usually, the first get together was over coffee and just a casual meet up to see if there was any mutual interest/attraction at all.

    I met my fair share of “losers” on POF, though. Mostly, it was in the form of abusive tirades from guys whom I turned down. I can understand being angry at being ignored or insulted, but if a woman politely says no thank you, not interested, then it’s best to move on. I cannot even tell you the number of times I was called a whore, a bitch, a lesbian…you name, I’ve been called it at least once…simply because I didn’t have any reciprocal interest. It would be laughable if it weren’t truly creepy. Any man that can go from complimenting you to cursing you out with pulsating hatred within a minute or two, simply because he was rejected is…well, unbalanced.

    People tend to look for their equals in looks, education and socio-economic status. Long-term success is based on commonalities, after all.

    As I said earlier, a couple of women I know who were on it when I was on it years ago are still on it today. Both of them are in their mid-to-late 40s now, overweight, not pretty by any standards and promiscuous. Both have grown kids, and yet are open to dating guys who are the same age as their children. Needless to say, we don’t get along too well anymore because they are quite envious of me at this point, and one of them admitted that 1) she thinks my husband is hot (he is) and 2) she has no problem with sleeping with married men. Of course, I no longer have anything to do with that one.

    Yes, I know there are a lot of really sad, bitter, desperate and horny people out there. A lot of them have major attitudes and nothing to back it up. Modern society encourages fools to act this way. Every time I turn on the tv, I see more of this bad behavior being flaunted. It’s gross and depressing.

    All I can do is wish you all well out there. Try and weed out the nutters by chatting with them for a bit. People who lie tend to trip themselves up if forced to converse for any length of time. And then, when you do meet, make it a short one. No one’s going to cry if they are down the price of a cup of coffee. Just don’t get carried away and feed the freaks for free! And above all, don’t go scraping the bottom of the barrel. You will find that nothing but scum accumulates there.


    • JDP says:

      Thanks for your comments Megan and yes, I do agree with most of them.
      Not wanting to insult you or your husband. But why did you two choose POF to use for a dating website? In my experience, it is the dregs of online dating.
      Commendable as it is, that you never dated for a meal or free drinks. Even average attractive females on any website. See themselves as entitled to free shit. Based solely on their looks or closer to the point, genitalia.

      I’ve spent a few years following the patterns of women online. Very attractive females, regardless of age. Want the educated, rich, athletic, 10yr younger guys.

      Average women with no kids. want guys 5yrs younger or 5yrs older. Example, a 34yr old woman with no kids. Wants a guy 29-39yrs of age.
      Yet that same 34yr old woman, with 2 kids. Will usually shorten the lower number to 32/33 and raise the maximum to maybe 42 and up. As they are looking for a baby daddy and financial security, rather than a party friend, with benefits.

      You are definately an exception, based on your comments. (if true and accurate) So as one of the VERY few women to choose this forum. Perhaps you can explain a little of the, online female thought process.
      Why do women seem to always want or seek guys, so MUCH younger than themselves. Does a 45yr old woman, with 3 kids at home. Truly believe a 29yr old guy wants a “long term” relationship with her?

      Why do :”some college” women, posting NO income level or maybe 25-30K a year. Require Bachelors degree and 100K a year partners? Why do they seem to think, that kind of unequal demands are justified? What would you or they think. If a man had the exact same unequal demands, for the woman?
      Why can they be “average build” but we must be athletic? Why must we always “make them laugh?” (be stand up comedians) Why are “Harleys a plus?” If they are 5′ 7″ and shorter, must the perfect match be 6ft and up? (high heels, REALLY?)
      Why do they always seem to view life and “too short?” Yet 25yrs later, they are STILL here and life is STILL short! Why are their family and friends, “their world?”
      What happens when the kids grow up, get married and hopefully move out or even away? And what happens when friends begin to move away or even pass away. Does that mean their “world” has ended as well as their life?

      Why do SO many middle aged, 40 plus women. That have 2-3 kids, over the age of 18. (by 2 different men) Are either DEFINATELY or undecided/open to having more? (with yet another guy) When did the 2-3 different baby daddies, STOP being a trailer trash red flag?
      And why, when they are already 50+ pounds, overweight smokers already. Do they seem to think having MORE kids is the answer?

      Would love to hear your thoughts on these, in my opinion, VERY unrealistic demands, expectations or just plain thought process. And if you think that these women truly believe in these fairy tale posibilities


  28. CausalityOfPOF says:

    I appreciate the time you all took to put your stories on this blog. It has given me the initiative to delete my POF profile. I initially did a Google search trying to find out what an “ideal” profile picture is and to see if I was far off base or what the major malfunction was but stumbled onto the blog instead. I have had a POF profile on and off for about 4 years and have tried eHarmony, HerWay, and OkCupid. I am a young white man in my mid 20’s, 6ft tall, in decent shape (not fat)/attractive (not a Model), never been married, no children, have a bachelor’s degree, a professional full time career and from what I have been told and can lay claim too; am a good/kind hearted person (a good guy). The longest relationship I have had lasted almost 3 years and have had a couple girl friends before and after. I spend a lot of time in-between (out) relationships intentionally so I do not drag emotional baggage to a new relationship and so that I can purely be me (careful dater). Every relationship I have had was serious (to me) and I have never dated for the wrong reasons. I have had very little/no success with POF over the years and absolutely none with any of the other sites I have tried. When I first tried POF I hit the ground running and managed to go on a few dates that were just horrible. The contrast between the woman’s profile and existence in real life was a gap no Olympic long jumper could cross. I was still nice and did not pull the cord by my seat to jettison out of there but still managed to catch a lot of flak for not wanting a second date. Women are ok with the fact of overlooking a man and expect him to realize that “heah she just was not into you” but it definitely does not work the other way around. Men have to shower in rejection but women are unwilling to take even one case of it. I became more selective after having so many turd dates thus reducing my dating life. I did not mind this so much because I was in college at the time and I had plenty of dates with my books. Now that I have significantly more free time I decided to start up a new POF account and figured that I would be able to secure better dates now that I have a degree and a career that I love. Scratch that belief. I am having less luck now as a more refined/intelligent/compensated man than I did as a rough around the edges college student. My looks/physical dimensions have not changed much if any. My most recent bout with POF lasted for about 4 months or so and I had sent around 40 messages with 1 or 2 replies. The replies I did get didn’t make it past two or three messages. I have been contacted by 3 women directly and I gave them a chance because they went out on a limb to not be a stereotype and require the man to approach them. One of them was very attractive and I was interested. We chatted and exchanged phone numbers but she fell off the planet after a day or so. This has occurred with about 75% or more of the women that sustained communication with me at any point. I take my time when I send messages making sure to roll over every detail of a woman’s profile twice to know them somewhat before I send a message. I only sent messages to women that I was interested in and never did the cut and paste crap that some do. I asked legitimate questions and related myself to their experiences/likes/goals/etc showing similarity in-between us always with respect/humor/good grammar/good taste. A significant number of women have on their profile a few lines devoted to how sick they are of one word messages, creepy compliments, gross and fowl messages. My messages were never good enough I suppose nor the highlights I have discussed earlier. I sent messages to women who were out of my league, in my reach, and “under me”. I achieved the same results with any type of woman which was typically no response. I have searched men’s profiles to see what my competition was in my area since your basically selling yourself on POF like a used car (12k miles….runs well… scratches……35mpg……15% off on Wednesdays). Across all the many profiles I have read there are a lot of similarities with a few profiles being “different” and creative. If a profile was written well and full enough I would null my qualifications on looks quite a bit. I am not just out for a pretty face because that face has a brain behind it. I agree with the comments and content of this blog that all of the women on the dating sites are shooting much higher than they can aim and do not realize what a human male is when they receive a message from one. There is a strong skew in the presumptions of what a “desirable” male is in the female population thanks to media and keeping the top 1% of males in the spotlight. Let’s not get carried away now though. Men have their eyes crossed as well but it seems that a man’s cross vision tends to straighten out as he gets older and begins to think for himself. The corruption with men is their willingness to seek the lame/lazy/thug/player/showman/staged style of life that utterly lacks learning/effort/experience/honesty/and the finer details of being a person. The problem with women is buying into this type of man. Here I am all alone working my ass off trying to be the best person I can be without squashing anyone else that does not ask for it. I do not fall in the attractive category because the popular tiers of social media do not thrive in my attitude or drape over my body. I am an individual with beliefs, direction, a conscience, functional brain and a healthy dose of morality…..who would have thought! I have a motorcycle……but it is not a Harley…….might as well not have one from an ideal standpoint right? From my experience and from all the insightful content that I have found on this blog it is more than safe to assume that online dating is a waste of time. There is a 99% chance that online dating will reduce your self esteem, crush your faith in women, leave you upset/agitated, questioning your value, teach you an expensive lesson and the worst part being still a single man. I have never poked around the forums on POF before but after reading comments above I never will. Why do men have to take such a beating in order to take a shot that is so slim only a sub atomic number would justify? I have had worlds more enjoyment buying event tickets for myself to see shows. Taking yourself out on a date is always better than dragging one of the socially inhibited creatures from POF anywhere. Most of the women on POF are there for the attention and the sense of empowerment to throw men into the pile that has been gathering behind them for awhile. Take care of yourself first. Do not worry about being alone or when a woman is going to come strolling along. I have been looking for a good woman to share my life with for quite awhile now but I am not going to sell myself short or give in to what I do not want/need. I will remain single for as long as it takes before I go throwing myself to the sharks after cutting myself up into neat squares. It really is not worth it, trust me…..been there done that. I hope this helps because all of these guys have taken their time to share their experiences on here reviving my spirit significantly. Now it is your turn to see that you’re not the only one that is getting rolled off a cliff.

  29. sherkhan says:

    I’m sure glad I’m not the only one experience this… I gave up on POF a while back and okcupid isn’t much better.

    I thought the problem was the 5:1 male to female ratio here in Seattle. I’m sure that amplifies everything but it seems everyone is experiencing this everywhere.

    I agree with the comment that if you haven’t found your wife/long term gf by your mid-late 20’s, your chances of doing so are almost nil. I would have never thought that at 32, I “missed the boat”, but apparently I did.

  30. jimmy says:

    I joined POF about 72 hours ago. I quit about 2 hours ago and then googled “plenty of fish sucks”, now I’m here lol. 3 days of POF was a waste of time! I’m educated, well employed professional, ex army (combat arms), super smart and pretty darn confident without being cocky. I tried POF because I figured maybe I’d find someone I’m just not crossing paths with in my regular life ‘in the wild’.

    Long story short it’s a bunch of recreational daters with inflated egos and unreachable standards…. lots of girls looking for bad boys (I look like a cute college kid not a UFC street fighter even though I got combat time and my blackbelt) and tattooed thugs. Je-zuz POF is bad for my outlook on women lol. NEVER AGAIN!!

  31. Confidence Man says:

    I would like to give my input here, POF is a death sentence for the unwanted and un dateable in the real world. I am on there just for sex period. The site is gfull of prostitutes who think they are women when in reality they are nothing more then prostitutes. Gentleman I am going to give you some of the clever lines used in the profiles of these prostitutes.

    “Looking for a man who knows how to treat a girl” this is a euphemism prostitutes and gold diggers use to solicit “nice guys” who will cater to these whores like dodo the dog, a real man like me can spot this bullshit from a mile away.

    “Queen looking for her king”
    “Looking for a gentleman” a gentleman is a euphemism whores use, it means a looking for a sucker.
    “Looking for a man who’s well traveled” need I say more?
    “Looking for prince charming”
    “Looking for a man who can laugh at himself” yes laugh at yourself like an ass while she is walking all over you, spending your money.
    “looking for a man with old fashioned values” Lots of whores are claiming to be “old fashioned when it comes to dating” lol, there is not an old fashioned woman anywhere in America today, old fashioned women did not have degree’s, they did not have the opportunities these ungrateful whores have today. They are not cooking and cleaning and taking care of the kids in the home like old fashioned women did, so I find it laughable when a whore says she is “old fashioned”
    “Looking for a chivalrous man”
    “Is chivalry dead”? yes it is dead, I don’t hold or open doors or give up my seat on the train or bus anymore for these cunts, I let them stand. I also will never pay for a cunt on a date, she pays her way and I pay mine or get lost!

    Also you will see lines like ” I can be dressed and getting dirty in jeans and just as fast be dressed for a black tie event” who do these whores think they’re kidding?

    The site is a haven for prostitution, I have even had a couple of women on there admit to me they are looking for a pimp, that is what you gentleman are referring to when you say they all want a bad boy, they want a pimp who will keep their whore asses in line.

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