Real Women… or Children?

September 6, 2011

There’s been a rash of comments lately from readers who say that a lot of women on PoF seem to be interested only in men who have tattoos and a motorcycle… preferably a Harley, if at all possible. And that guys without Harleys or tats should basically get lost.

I can see why a woman would be exclusively interested in a biker guy… if she were a true-blue, for-real biker chick. But most of the women on Plenty of Fish who seem to have a desire for biker dudes aren’t true biker chicks. At most, they might have a tattoo. Or two. But ersatz biker boys and their Harleys really excite these women, and one has to ask, “What’s up with that?”

Every PoF chick's dream guy?

I have a theory about what’s causing this kind of behavior. Women who like Harleys and guys with tats and the whole biker ethic that goes with it (ersatz or not), are women who seem to feel that appearing ‘bad’ somehow makes them tough, or ‘special’ in some way, a cut above their peers.

It’s a perfectly normal human desire to want to be top dog from time to time, but women who behave this way are really just looking for a lifestyle that projects a certain image, and the more fashionable they think the image is, the better. And, of course, the whole game seems to turn upon the atavistic desire some women appear to have for criminals, thugs and other guys who appear to¬† be, in some inexplicable way, ‘alpha’ males even though they aren’t even remotely ‘alpha’.

The big problem in this kind of behavior is that in order to be considered worthy, a man has to have some purely superficial attributes or specific kinds of material possessions that have nothing to do with his ability to be a good mate. And more to the point, what happens when the wannabe-biker ethos suddenly becomes unfashionable? Will women ditch their biker dude boyfriends (in favor of the latest and fashionably ‘hawt’ guys) because they no longer measure up to the ephemeral, superficial kind of thinking that underpins the whole ‘biker-look’ ethic? Predicating relationships purely on fashion is a lot like predicating relationships purely on looks or some other singular attribute – it’s an exercise doomed to end in failure.

Real women don’t play stupid image games like this, where the flavor of the day trumps all… but children do.